Bring Me Your Love
by Ethereal Pixie
Summary: CHAPTER 6: Athrun turned away from me, “I guess, since it’s late, I’ll leave you. Coming here, at this time of night, was a bit dramatic of me but, just so you know, I’m not willing just to let you go this time.” ATHRUN/CAGALLI
1. Woman Left Lonely

**Bring Me Your Love**

_I didn't know what to say after you turned away and then it was just me, falling from the sky, waiting for tomorrow to bring a better time._

**ONE **_Woman Left Lonely_

_**Cagalli**_

A year has passed since the fall of both Gilbert Durandal and Logos. As the Chief Representative of Orb I have been busy dealing with the after affect the war had on both Orb and Earth. There was a lot that had to be done, from repairing the damages inflicted on Orb to eradicating the confusion that Chairman Durandal left behind him after his attempt to implement the Destiny Plan. The Earth, the PLANTs, everyone is at peace. It's more than any of us could ever ask for but even so I feel empty. I feel as if there is something missing. It isn't as if I have no clue as to what…or who is missing from my life but after a year I'm afraid that things have changed. Even though he became an admiral within the Orb Military I haven't had any time to speak with him at all during the course of the year. What if, after all this time, his feelings for me have changed? What if the ring and his proposal have become meaningless after all the time that has passed? Not a day has passed that I haven't thought of him. I wonder sometimes when I lie in bed, after a long day, if he is thinking of me now. Even now, while I sit here in my office as I attempt to read all of these papers and proposals, I wonder if he is thinking about me now. I hope that he still understands why I had to choose Orb.

Now that everything has calmed down and order has been restored to all the nations it's good for everyone to relax. I guess that's why Lacus and Miriallia organized a party so that everyone could see each other again, after all this time that has passed. Everyone will be there, Kira, Andrew, Murrue, Mwu, everyone…even Athrun. I could feel my heart begin to speed up at the thought of him. Athrun.

What will I say to him? I have no idea. I want to see him, speak with him…I want to be with him. I shake my head. The two of us had changed during the second war. Athrun had chosen ZAFT then. But I didn't make the situation any better by agreeing to marry Yuna. It was all a lot then but things have changed. Things are different now. I still have the ring he gave me in my room, on top of my drawer. At night, I wear it, and I remember how it had once been. I remember that once we had lied together on my bed. I remember that once our bodies had been intertwined when we slept at night. I would listen to his heart beat as we lay together. I bring my hand to my heart, as if it would help to slow the beating. I still feel as strongly as I did after we had met. I still feel that rush when I think of him as I did when we had first spoken to each other. Although, then, it was a different situation and I felt stupid feeling the way I did for him during the war. Back then, he was the enemy after all. I would have never thought that I would feel this way about him.

I stand up from my desk and leave my office. Time has slipped away from me.

"Representative Athha, do you need anything?" I look down at my secretary, Lisa, and smile.

"No, nothing, Lisa, you should get home now?"

"You've finished all your work for the day Representative Athha? I've never seen you take off so early before."

"I have an informal engagement to attend."

"Ah, then have fun Representative Athha. You deserve it."

"Thank you Lisa," I smile at her. "I'll see you Monday."

I turn away from her and continue walking down the hall. The beating of my heart still hasn't calmed every minute that passes brings me closer to when I get to see him

*******

I stare at the ring that is resting on my dresser top and contemplate whether I should wear the ring. Perhaps, I shouldn't. I don't want to seem pushy or expectant. I mean, if his feelings have changed then it would just be embarrassing.

I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks as I think of when he had first given me this ring. He had been leaving to go to the PLANTs and see Gilbert Durandal. Before he had left he had turned to face me and told me that he understood my relationship with Yuna but he didn't have to like it. Then he had given me the ring and kissed me. It had been the last time I felt his lips against mine. I raise my fingers to my lips and sigh. If I'm like this now before I even see him, how will I be when I finally do get to see him?

There's no point in thinking about it now. When it happens, when I see him, then I'll know, right? I mean, thinking about it now will only make me more nervous. For now, I should just not think about it. It's almost time anyways, to see Kira and the others.

*******

I stand before the large doors of Murrue and Mwu's home and wait for an answer.

"Cagalli!" I smile when I see Lacus and Kira.

"Hi Kira, Lacus," Lacus pulls me in an embrace and then pushes me towards Kira.

"It's been a long time, Cagalli," his voice has gotten deeper since the last time I saw him before he left Orb to stay with Lacus on the PLANTs.

"It is nice to see you again Cagalli. It will be wonderful to speak with you informally now."

"I agree," I smile as they lead me inside the house.

"Come, come, we were waiting for you," Lacus is holding my hand as she leads me deeper inside the house. I smile when I see everyone sitting around the dining room. Not everyone is here but I'm sure they were probably held up by their own duties and responsibilities. I scan the room, my heart racing as I look for that head of dark hair and those green eyes but when I look at the last person in the room I realize that he is not here. I can tell Kira knows exactly what I was doing. He doesn't miss anything.

He lowers down to whisper in my ear, "Sorry, Cagalli. Athrun said he couldn't make it tonight."

"It's...it's no problem. I wasn't even looking for him."

"Right," Kira scratches his head nervously.

"Lets…let's not talk about Athrun, okay?"

"Sure."

I was the one who chose not to continue my relationship with Athrun. I was the one who decided that I needed to place all of my attention on Orb yet I feel as if my heart has been breaking. Sometimes, I wonder if I made a mistake in my decision. When I look at Kira and Lacus this only makes me feel worse. Lacus was just as busy as I was, working as a mediator for ZAFT and other nations. Now, I hear that she will become Chairwoman and still, with all her duties and responsibilities, she remains with Kira. I could have done the same. Athrun lives in Orb, he is an admiral in the Orb Military, yet I decided to reject my relationship with him.

When I think about it now, it feels as if I was just making excuses at the time. I'm ready now though. I'm ready to be with Athrun. I snap out of my thoughts when the sound of the doorbell surrounds us.

"Oh, who could that be?" Lacus looks around the room. "Everyone who said they were coming is here."

She runs to the front door, Kira following behind her, and we all listen.

"Athrun!" Lacus yells excitedly.

My heart stops beating. My body remains still and unmoving. There are no thoughts running through my mind. There is nothing. My body feels strange…my stomach is plummeting. All of this is just so strange.

I turn to face where Athrun will enter the room and I feel as if everyone is watching me. I feel as if they are all staring to see what will happen. Then…I can feel it. The sharp feeling in my heart and the pain. It cuts through my like a bullet. I can feel my throat get tight and I struggle against the tears that want to escape me when I see him…and her…Meyrin. He has his arm around her shoulder while her arm is wrapped around his waist. His green eyes are now on me. I feel as if his stare alone is tearing me apart because he is staring at me, not as the woman he loves but as an old friend.

After all this time, days and months of thinking of him, wanting only him, waiting for him he has moved on. I felt like I did that day he turned away from me…the day he left Kira and me behind for ZAFT. It was just like that…but somehow, this was worse because on his arm now there was another woman. Not just any woman but a friend.

Everyone's eyes burned my skin. How could he do this?

"It's been a while…Cagalli."


	2. Forgive Me

**TWO **_Forgive Me_

The softness of his voice stuns me. I can hardly find my words, they're lingering above me. I feel stupid standing before him like this. He tilts his head to the side and smiles that stupid ridiculous smile. I find myself wanting to rip it off his face.

"It's nice to see you again, Athrun," I force a smile onto my lips but smiling is the last thing I want to do.

He leaves Meyrin's side and stands before me. He's gotten taller since the last time I saw him and his features have matured over time. I try not to stare at him for long and look passed him, at Kira. I can tell by Kira's expression that he's worried about how I feel. He shouldn't though. I'm fine. I understand why Athrun would move on to another girl. I mean, so much time has passed and I hadn't even called him to say hello. I hadn't reassured him that I still felt the same way, after all that time. I hadn't expressed to him that every day I continued to love him and that every day I was apart from him the hole in my heart only grew. It's understandable that he would turn to Meyrin. Every day that I wasn't there she was there, with him.

He places his hands on both sides of my shoulders and the smile on his face softens. It almost feels as if he is patronizing me although that is probably the last thing he is doing. I'm just allowing my mind to run wild and free. I'm just finding reasons to hate him. I know that I shouldn't though. I know that this should be the last thing to do after everything the two of us have been through. It's true, what Kira said. During times of peace you begin to take the people you care about for granted. It's in our nature as human beings.

"Cagalli," I hate the way he says my name. I hate how soft his voice becomes when he speaks my name. I hate that my heart sets off into a frenzy of irregular beats when he touches me.

Kira steps towards Athrun and places his hand on his shoulder to distract Athrun from me. I look over at Meyrin and see that she has stopped smiling. She is staring down at her feet and is avoiding my gaze.

"Athrun," Kira smiles which causes Athrun to turn away from me. Although Kira is smiling I can see the anxiety in his eyes. That's just how Kira is, so kind he's almost foolish. I mouth a thank you to Kira and take this as my chance to get away from Athrun.

During the exchange between Athrun and me, everyone in the room began to mingle with each other. I look over at Murrue and she waves me over to her.

"Hi, Murrue," I shake her hand.

"Cagalli," she grins, "You've done an excellent job managing Orb."

"Thank you," I direct my attention to Mwu who is standing next to her. "Congratulations to both of you, by the way. When's the baby due?"

"Next year June," Murrue's face begins to turn red. Mwu pulls her against him and kisses her forehead which only deepens the red colour that tints her cheeks.

"Soon there will be a little Mwu or Murrue running around here," Mwu grins. I notice that the scar on his face has begun to fade.

"If there's a little Mwu he might stir up some mayhem," Murrue smirks as she elbows Mwu's stomach.

"Just like his old man," Mwu grins.

"I can see a little Murrue causing more trouble," I laugh.

"What?" Murrue's eyes widen.

"Good one Cagalli," Mwu places his hand on my head and ruffles my hair. "That a girl!"

"Hey!" I groan as I swat Mwu's hand away. "Watch it."

"It's good to see that you haven't changed over time. Although you have matured into quite the young lady and I see you've started to grow your hair."

"Well, with all my responsibilities I haven't exactly had the time to cut it or anything. It's not a big deal."

The grin on Mwu's face widens as he leans towards me and whispers, "Did you hear that Kira proposed to the little princess?"

"What?!" I can't suppress the shock that rushes through me. "When did this happen?"

"About a month ago or so, it's about time," Mwu has a playful laugh. It's something he has never been able to loose, even after he lost his memories.

"I had no idea," I sighed. I look over at Kira and Lacus and examine them. They look happy. I can see the ring that is placed on her finger. There is a pink jewel in the center of the ring. I wonder how he proposed to her, how he approached her with his question. Although Kira is kind it is a little bit hard to imagine him doing something like that. My eyes stray from the happy couple and I look over to see that Athrun is watching me.

My heart begins to race and I feel as if I have become lost in his eyes. He perks up and whispers something to Meyrin. I can feel my cheeks begin to heat up and the jealousy that is rushing through me.

"I'm…I'm going to get some air," I stutter and walk away from Murrue and Mwu before they can even respond.

I step outside onto the balcony and take in the breeze that surrounds me. The sky is brightened by the stars that litter the sky. When you live on Earth and look up at the sky you begin to feel small and insignificant because of its vastness. It's so beautiful that you forget that once, up in the stars, people were killed by mobile suits and weapons of mass destruction. You forget that once the stars were a place where violence and murder took place.

Times are different now. The nations of Earth and the PLANTs have stopped creating weapons. There is no pursuit for more power but only peace and prosperity. It all seems like a dream sometimes. Three years ago there seemed to be no possibility of peace ever happening. A year ago we were afraid that peace was being threatened. The universe has progressed so far. We're all learning and working to keep peace and to avoid conflict. It's a difficult journey but it's something that is happening.

"Cagalli," I jump when hearing my name.

I don't want to turn around. I don't want to turn around and look at him but I also don't want him to know how he makes me feel. I turn to face him but even so, he doesn't look directly at me. I wonder, when it comes to us, who has the upper hand?

"Athrun."

"I…it's…well…it's good to see you."

_What are you trying to say, Athrun?_ I almost groan in frustration at him. Even after all this time, he's still a little bit awkward but I adored that quality in him. I found it endearing. He's still avoiding my gaze.

There's a distance between us now. There's a distance that I want to fill but cannot.

He finally meets his eyes with mine and stares at me for a while. He lifts his hand to my hair and twirls a strand between his fingers.

"You grew out your hair, it looks nice," his hand leaves my hair but I don't want him to stop. I want him to touch me. I want him to want me. "But, you know, I've always preferred your short hair."

"What you prefer isn't my concern."

"Of course not," he looks away from me. A tint of pink has surfaced onto his cheeks. "I didn't mean to imply anything."

"No, I know you didn't mean anything by it," I look away from him as well. It always is so awkward between us. It's awkward and strange and, sometimes, even uncomfortable. Even so, I want all of it, all of these strange, awkward emotions. "I…it gets busy, you know, running a nation like Orb. I'm not the type to keep up my image."

"I know," his voice softens and I can feel him staring at me. "I know."

For a while the two of us stand around awkwardly, not really saying anything to each other. It's so quiet out here that we can hear everyone laughing and talking inside. I can hear my heart beating in my ears. It's so loud that I'm scared he can hear it too. It almost feels like I never knew him at all. It feels like we've never spoken to each other before. It feels like we never were in love. It's stupid, all these ridiculous emotions.

"Athrun," I look up at him, he was staring at me all this time. "I'm…I'm sorry."

For a while he just watches me. He doesn't speak a word. It doesn't even look like he's thinking about anything. Right now, at this very moment, it feels like we're the only two people in the world. It feels like no one is here except him and me.

"Cagalli…I-"

"Athrun!" The two of us direct our attention to where the voice called his name. I see Meyrin staring at the two of us, although she doesn't appear to be speculating what is going on between us. "I was looking for you."

"Sorry, Meyrin."

"Luna just came, come, she's asking about you," Meyrin smiles at me. "You too Cagalli."

Athrun steps towards Meyrin and then turns to look at me, "Cagalli, are you coming too?"

"You know what…I just realized I have a lot of work left to do and it's all really important. I can't keep it waiting. Can you just tell everyone that I had to leave and that I apologize for that?"

"Well, okay," the smile on Meyrin's face fades. I hate that I can't even hate her. She's too nice. How could I not like someone who genuinely cares about me? "It was really good seeing you, Cagalli."

"Yeah," Athrun looks away from me. "It…it really was."

"Yeah," I turn away from the two of them. I can't hold it in anymore, the tears that want to escape me. I can feel them trickling down my cheek. This is just so stupid. "It really was. Well," I quickly turn around to wave goodbye and begin to walk down the stairs of the balcony. "Bye then."

"I hope to see you again, Cagalli."

"Right," and I walk faster down the stairs to get away from them, to get away from him.

It was idiotic of me to assume that he would instantly take me back after all the time that has passed. It was silly of me to think that he still loved me.

I really did feel as if I was falling from the sky.


	3. Evening Sun

**A/N: **Hello, hello, I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed. I really like to know what you all think! :) Well, here's another chapter. ENJOY.

*******

**THREE **_Evening Sun_

There are papers and forms everywhere on my desk and I don't know where to start or what I even need to do. I can't concentrate on anything. I keep thinking about last week. Seeing Athrun surely put a strain on my train of thought. All this work that I've taken on doesn't even seem important to me, it's all so trivial. I just wanted to forget about everything but no matter how much work I pick up I can't forget that terrible feeling that ripped through me.

"Cagalli," I perk up when hearing my name. I'd been so lost in thought that I hadn't realized that Sal, one of my council members, had stepped into my office.

"Oh, hi Sal," I sigh. He tilts his head and smiles at me. I can tell that he knows I am exhausted. Over time, Sal has become a friend. He supports me in all of my decisions and often encourages me when I feel as if my responsibilities have become too much for me to handle.

"Cagalli, honestly, I don't see why you've taken up all this extra work. You're going to kill yourself. Your responsibility is only to represent the nation and handle the large issues."

"All the problems that Orb faces are large issues for me to handle."

"Cagalli, I know very well what you are doing," Sal sighs and sits on my desk.

When I look at him now, I notice how handsome he is. I notice the depth of his blue eyes and how golden his hair looks in the sunlight.

"Come now. We're at peace, relax. Take some time off, you know, you need it. When was the last time you've taken a break?"

"I think I was fourteen the last time I took a break," I laugh as I run my fingers through my hair.

"And how old are you now? You just turned twenty last month! Honestly, Cagalli, you didn't even celebrate your own birthday."

"Orb is more important than trivial things like birthdays."

"I know, I know. Listen," he leans over the desk and leans his forehead against mine. I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks. "You've done a lot, you've taken on so much responsibility, and you've done an amazing job but you're also young. Take some time off and enjoy your youth because today you're twenty and tomorrow you're forty."

"Like you should talk. You're only four years older than I am."

"Yes but you've done so much more than I have, I think it's time you take a vacation."

"What do you propose then?"

I know that he's right. It would be nice to finally take a break and if I'm needed they will contact me. So, it wouldn't hurt, just to take a short break, to be on my own and let my mind rest.

"Go home, sleep, rest, whatever you want! You have the freedom to do so," he places his hand on my head and his smile deepens. "Who knows maybe I'll even call you and we'll have a date?"

"What?" My face feels warm and I look away from him.

"I meant, as friends, you know," the grin on his face deepens. I feel like slapping him, he knows that he's embarrassing me. "Unless you want it to be more."

"Shut up," I groan and stand up from my seat. "You know, you say stupid things sometimes."

I walk over to the large window and stare out at the ocean. It's vast and large. It makes this place seem small. The sun has begun to set and the colours are reflected on the blue of the ocean. Earth is a beautiful place to live. I remember when I used to stand in front of the window at home, and Athrun would come behind me. He would hold me in his arms and his breath would graze my skin. My home wasn't so empty and lonesome then. It was a place that I wanted to be. Now, I would rather stay away from there. It only reminds me of what used to be. It reminds me how happy we once were together.

I can feel arms wrap around my waist. In my mind, I tell myself it's Athrun who is standing behind me, although, I know that it isn't him. It will never be him. Sal's breath tickles my skin but I don't feel that same rush I once did when it was Athrun standing behind me.

"You know how I feel, Cagalli," his chin is resting against my shoulder. Even though he's so close to me, I don't feel as if there is anyone there. "And I know how you feel about him. I know that you can't just forget him. I know that you love him. Still, it doesn't change the way I feel about you. When you're ready, I'll be here, Cagalli."

"I'm…" I lean against Sal, and I can tell that this gesture surprises him. "I'm ready."

For a while, the two of us stay this way. For a while, neither of us moves nor speaks a word. For a while, I pretend that it's Athrun standing behind me, although I know that it isn't. We watch the sun set, we watch the sky darken, and we watch the moon rise.

I know that I have to move on.

*******

When I get home I realize what I need to do. I go to my bedroom and grab the ring that lies on top of my drawer. I look for an envelope and some paper to write on. I sit at my desk and stare at the ring that is lying in my hand. For a while, I just stare at the ring. If I want to let go of Athrun, I have to let go of this too.

I take the pen to the paper and begin to write.

_Athrun,_

_This is hard for me to do since_

I groan and crumple up the paper and grab another one.

_Athrun,_

_I was cleaning my room and I found this ring_

I realize how ridiculous this is. I shouldn't lie. I'll just write the truth, what I really feel.

_Athrun,_

_I kept the ring, always. I kept it on my drawer top, to remind me of you. I always believed in us and I was ready, I really was, but you're with Meyrin now so I know that you've moved on and I guess, by giving this back to you, I'm doing the same. We can't live in the past forever, right? We were young anyways. Things do change, right? I don't know. Anyways, to the point, I'm giving this back to you. I don't have the heart to throw it away._

_Cagalli._

I fold the letter and put it into the envelope. I look at the ring for one last time before placing it into the envelope. I sit at my desk and contemplate whether I should really give him this letter but I know, however embarrassing this letter is, it's the right thing to do. I can't simply just give him back this ring without clarifying how I truly feel.

This is my decision. This is what needs to be done.

*******

I stand in front of his apartment door and contemplate giving him the letter personally but I'm not sure that I can bring myself to do so. Instead, I slip the letter through a slit in the door and then begin to walk away.

As I am walking down the hall, I hear the door open. I walk faster down the hall. I don't want to see him, I can't.

"Cagalli?"

I keep walking faster and don't respond. I'm so stupid, I shouldn't have done this.

"Cagalli!"

I run down the hall and down the stairs, outside to where I left my car. I hop into my car and drive off before he can run after me. I can't see him, can't even look at him.

I stop the car and lean my head against the steering wheel. I attempt to fight against the tears that are threatening to escape me. Why am I crying over something like this? Why can't I be stronger than this? After everything I have gone through, everything I've experienced, why is this so damn hard?

I lift my head, wipe the tears from my face, and drive, leaving it all behind.

It's truly over now.


	4. The Beginning After the End

**FOUR **_The Beginning After the End_

"This is nice."

I nod in response as I smile back at Sal. His hand is stretched across the table, signifying that he wants to hold my hand but I keep both my arms at my side.

"You're too shy, Cagalli."

"Only when it comes to this stuff," I look away from him. I can feel the warmth spreading across my face. "I'm just…awkward, I guess."

"You are," he reaches over to stroke the skin of my cheek. Even with this gesture, my heart remains steady. "Don't worry. Your beauty is enough."

I can feel my face begin to heat up, and my heart is beginning to race. Although, I'm not quite sure what the source of this emotion is.

"Oh, I got you there," he winks at me and I scowl at him in response. That has always been his humor though. It takes a while to begin to understand someone like Sal. Although, he appears threatening at first, when you get to know him, you find that he's actually quite gentle and kind. He's caring and believes wholly in Orb's ideals. He never judges a soul, instead, he believes in giving everyone a chance. He's strong, he's smart, he's amazing, and he's handsome. He's everything a woman would want but, even so…

"Cagalli," I look up at Sal and the smile still hasn't faded from his face. I know what he is thinking and what he is realizing, still it doesn't faze him. Nothing does, he always maintains this calm composure. I want to learn from him. I want to know, how he does it. Like me, he fought in the war and, like me, he was lucky enough to survive. How does he do it? I don't understand and that is what has drawn me to him from the beginning. "I really don't think you're ready for this."

"What…what do you mean? Of course I am."

"I'm not trying to get rid of your feelings for Athrun, I understand. You know that I would understand that…more than anyone," I look away from him. Of course I know that. During the war, his wife…and daughter were killed. Yet he holds no grudges and never swore to seek revenge. "I know that you would be with him, if you could. I understand the whole situation, that's why I asked if you were ready. I don't want you to forget about him. I just want you to be ready to be with someone else…you know?"

"I…I know," I stare down at the table cloth. "But…I am."

"Oh, missy, you are not ready," when I look up at him, he is still smiling. "So, at this time, I believe that we should remain friends."

"No, Sal," I stand up from my chair and walk towards him. "Sal, I'm ready, really, I am."

He stands up with me and places his hands on either side of my shoulders. I'm glad that we are literally one of the only people who reside in this restaurant or this would just be embarrassing.

"You're not Cagalli," He lifts his hand and pushes the hair in front of my face from my eyes. "I can see it in your eyes, Cagalli, when I look at you, I feel like you're looking for him."

"No," I lean into him and I feel him wrap his arms around me. "That's not true."

"Don't rush into this."

"Sal," I look up at him, and feel the rush of blood to my cheeks as I inch closer to his lips. "I..I'm ready."

"Cagalli," he pulls away from me. "Don't mess with my head like this. I care about you too much to let things get out of hand."

"I know that. You've been there to make sure of that but this is different. I've never objected anything you have said or decided but this is different. Athrun…I don't expect anything to happen with him. I've left those feelings behind."

I grasp onto his shirt, pull him closer to me, and lift myself higher to touch my lips against his. I know that he can sense the urgency in my kiss. I know that he can sense the desire that I am attempting to draw from myself. He responds by kissing me back, just as urgently as I am. He places his hand on the back of my neck and the kiss becomes more demanding, needier. I know, we both know, that there is no going back now.

*******

I lift my hand to brush his golden hair from his face. He leans forward and kisses my forehead. I suppress the smile that surfaces onto my lips. I can't hurt him. I won't hurt him. It just wouldn't be fair to him for me to do so and I don't plan to. He has remained by my side long enough for me to know that nothing can change this, change us. This is what I needed. I needed to let go of those youthful desires. I needed find something realistic, something like this.

"You're breathtaking," he whispers into my ear. His breath tickles my skin and causes the smile on my lips to widen. For the first time I feel like a woman. I don't feel like a selfish teenager with selfish desires. I feel like there's something that can be built from this. Something real.

"Shut up," a laugh escapes my lips as I gently shove his shoulder.

"Really, you are," he leans forward and kisses my cheek, then my forehead, and then my nose. I feel a shiver run down my spine. I feel my heart begin to pound. I can get used to someone like this in my life. It just seems so much more stable. Young love is temporary, that's why it's young.

"What are you thinking?" he whispers as he caresses my cheek. His hand is soft and warm against my skin. "I want to know everything."

"Thinking about how I could get used to this."

"I think my young lady is maturing."

"Shut up," I groan, as I caress his bare chest. His skin is smooth and warm. As my fingers lower down to his stomach you can begin to feel the depth of the scar that resides there. There's so much too him and yet he's so simple. I like this…simple complexity. It's…nice.

"How do you do this to me?" He sighs as his finger leaves a trail of warmth from my neck, to my shoulder, down my arm. He takes my hand in his and raises it to his lips, kissing it softly. I shiver from his touch and from his gesture. I don't feel young with him. I feel like I could be a wife, could be a mother, with him.

It's all so different. Yet, when I look passed him, and look around this room, I remember Athrun and that ping, that slight, little ping, is still there. I almost want to scream. I feel as if I will burst into flames when I think of him. I feel as if my heart is turning into metal. Why is it so difficult to forget? Why can't I just move on like he did? Just keep going.

Then, when I look at Sal again, look into his eyes, and see all that potential that could come from us I can see myself moving on. It will happen, us. All this time, Sal waited for me to be ready, he waited for me to say yes. Why couldn't Athrun do the same? I wasn't important enough for him to wait for me. All this time I thought of him, missed him, wanted to be with him and, in the end, he couldn't wait for me. He turned to Meyrin and then, he comes back, out of nowhere, with her. He hadn't even attempted to contact me and tell me. At least, he could have told me, and then I wouldn't have had to be the one who was the fool.

For a while, the two of us remain locked within each other's arms. We don't move or speak. We don't do anything, there is no need to. Then, the sound of a doorbell reverberates through the house.

"It's almost twelve in the morning, who would that be?" I groan, as I slide out of the bed. I grab my robe and slide it onto my body. I turn to face Sal and kiss him on the forehead. "I won't be long."

"Just come back to me," he winks.

"Oh, you know I will," and I leave the room, the doorbell ringer becomes more urgent and I begin to feel worry rush through me. What if it's an emergency concerning Orb? I run down the stairs, to the front door, and swing the large door open.

Everything stops. Time, my breathing, my heart, everything. I can barely breath, can barely even force my heart to start beating again. I can't move, can't speak, can't close my widened eyes. Finally, sound leaves my lips. It's all I can manage to say.

"Athrun."

He's holding the letter in his hand, his expression is serious, his heart, I can tell, is on a rampage. His stare bores into me and tears at my heart, my soul. He then grabs me, causing my robe to open and reveals my body to him but he does not stop. A blush surfaces on his face as he pulls me against him.

He strokes my cheek and I am speechless. He lifts my chin and then lowers down to kiss me. His kiss is urgent and demanding but I cannot stop myself. I allow my desire to overtake me. I lose myself in him. My heart begins to beat rapidly as his hand strokes the skin of back. He doesn't have to speak a word, doesn't have to explain himself, and he still has me. He holds this power over me that I cannot release myself from. I forget everything as he kisses me. I forget the world and forget the pain. All I want is him. My hands rise to his chest and I grip onto his shirt so that I can pull him closer to me. His tongue caresses my lips, begging for entry, and my mouth opens. Our tongues clash and caress each other. It's as if we are fighting with our desire. We both know that this is wrong but we cannot stop now. Not even if we tried.

"Cagalli?"

And then I am brought back to reality.


	5. Hard to Forget

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait. Exams took up all my time and work is a lot right now but I am back with an update! Sorry again for the really long wait and thanks to everyone that's been reading. Your reviews are greatly appreciated. :) ENJOY THE CHAPTER.

**FIVE **_Hard to Forget_

I turn away from Athrun as my hands fumble to wrap my robe around my exposed body. I can feel my lips throb from Athrun's kiss. I lift my hand to my lips and touch them. I can imagine what they must look like now, how they must appear slightly reddened and swollen. I can't look into Sal's eyes, I feel ashamed. How could I simply forget that he was lying upstairs in my room? How could I be so stupid and just forget that? I restrain myself from screaming in frustration and tearing out my hair from my skull. I feel as if I will never grow up. I feel as if I can never relinquish my childish desires for this one boy.

Sal tilted his head to the side, his blonde hair falling over his eyes, and smiled, the way he usually does when he looks at me. He walks towards me and places his hands on either side of my shoulders. He kisses my forehead and lifts my chin with his right hand so that our eyes meet. His smile hasn't faded.

"Obviously I made a mistake by rushing you and don't disagree with me because I did rush things when your feelings for Athrun haven't been totally resolved. Whether you decide to go back with him or stay with me is your decision and I will respect it. I'll still be there, no matter what, Cagalli."

I shake my head, attempting to stop the flow of tears the want to escape me.

"Why do you have to always be like that? So damn accepting!"

"Why not?"

"Wouldn't it just be easier if you just hated me for this," I begin to feel my body quiver.

"It would but then wouldn't that just cause more issues than we all really need? I mean, sure, this is…an odd situation and I can't really say I particularly like the fact that you kissed him while I was still upstairs but then I understand as well why you did so. If it were my wife, perhaps, I would have done the same."

He kissed my forehead again before walking passed me. I couldn't possibly begin to comprehend how Sal was able to become so…accepting. I wanted to know what he had seen or done in his life to make him the way he was now.

I turned around and watched him walk towards Athrun. He laid a hand on his shoulder and Athrun nodded at him which Sal returned. Sal then slid his hand from Athrun's shoulder and continued walking away from us. I thought about stopping him and explaining that this whole thing with Athrun was nothing but from the beating of my heart and the way my body felt as if the gravity would drag me to the ground, made me think otherwise. Before I was ready to commit to anyone else I had to resolve my feelings for Athrun. This was true.

"Cagalli," I felt a chill run down my spine. It's been a long time since he's spoken my name like this.

"Want to come inside? It's a bit chilly."

Athrun looked away from me, a blush tinting his cheeks. It was nostalgic seeing that he still possessed his old traits. The very qualities that made me love him.

"Right," he sighed as he followed behind me into my home. I heard him close the door behind him. He still seemed familiar within my home. I turned to look at him and I could see him looking around him. I hadn't really changed anything since we lived here together. I could see in his face that he was reliving old memories.

"Make yourself at home," I mentally slapped myself for making this statement. "I'm just going upstairs to-"

"Cagalli, wait," I could feel his hand wrap around my wrist. His touch sent heat throughout my body. I wasn't quite sure how I would handle this situation. I wasn't quite sure what to do or say. A part of me wanted to grab him and kiss him, hold him but there was still a very small part of me that was telling me not to go back to him. A very small part of me that reminded me that we never seem to work out. However small this judgment was, it was what stuck in my mind the most. It wouldn't be right for me to go back to Athrun. I had already decided to officially end our relationship by giving him back the ring and I had already decided to begin my relationship with Sal. It was him who had come here and although he hadn't really said anything yet, I knew what he wanted.

"Athrun, don't you think it's best that we don't progress with this any further."

"Yes but-"

"There's Meyrin and it wouldn't be fair to her."

"Meyrin…that…it's nothing," he looked down at his feet, which showed me that it wasn't just "nothing".

"Athrun, for a very long time I have been busy attempting to resolve Orb's issues and bring peace back to Earth and the PLANTs. It takes a lot of time, effort, and patience. And you know more than anyone else that patience isn't really my strongest quality. Still, even so, no matter how much time passed I thought of you, wanted to be with you, but only when it was right. I didn't want to attempt to start a relationship when none of us were sure that peace would truly be guaranteed this time. I wanted to wait, and I explained this to you, until we could progress with our relationship. There was not a day when I didn't think of you, think of what you were doing, if you were thinking of me. Then, when I know that the time is right, I know that peace is true, and I see you again…I find that you're with Meyrin. The fact is it wasn't that you are romantically involved with Meyrin, it's the fact that I was willing to wait and be with you. And you, even though I had explained all this to you, were not. That is the bottom line."

For a while, the two of us stood still in the hall, watching each other, observing each other. Talking like this to him helped me calm my raging emotions and think more clearly around him.

"Cagalli, look, my relationship with Meyrin ended after seeing you…I…I wanted you."

"Athrun," I lift my hand to signify for him to stop talking. His eyes widened as he spoke, the way his eyes usually get when he begins to get passionate about what he is talking about. Still, this didn't make me feel any better. "It's too late for explanations."

"Just listen to me!" He groaned, stepping closer to me.

"What else is there to say? The facts are laid out in front of us. It's simple to see, that obviously, I wasn't enough for you to wait for us to happen. I get it. And, if you take a second to look at how I see it, to see that there is a man who has been by my side and has waited for me while you just get involved with someone else then you would see why I'm not simply jumping into your arms."

Athrun looked down at his feet, his hands balled up into a fist.

"You never gave me a chance, Cagalli."

"Of course I did!"

"Cagalli, when the war ended I went to you and I promised that I would stick by you but you didn't give me a chance to show you. You wanted the space and that's what I gave you and…I know that my getting involved with Meyrin shouldn't have happened but, she was there, and sometimes, things happen. It…we talked about it, Meyrin and I, and after seeing you I had to come here."

"Athrun," he stepped closer towards me and placed his hands on my shoulder. I could feel the warmth from his body against mine. I almost wanted to pull him closer, although I knew that I shouldn't. "We can't do this."

"We can, Cagalli," his arms wrapped around my body and he pulled me against him. I could hear his heart beating, quick and rhythmic, it matched the beat of my own heart. "We can."

It's hard to let go of someone you love. Not only someone you love but someone you fought for your life with, someone you fought for your ideals with. It's hard to let go, when you almost die with someone, when you experience war with someone, when you watch people die with someone. Athrun was my first love and even now, my heart still longs for him. I long to see him lying next to me, his eyes closed, sleeping next to me. We've seen each other at our most vulnerable, we've seen each other at our worse, and we've seen each other in pain. There's so much history between us that it's hard to let go. Which is why my arms wrap around his waist. Which is why I pull him closer to me.

"I can't, Athrun," I can feel his arms pull me against him tighter. He was making this too hard. I didn't want to let go either but I had to grow up. I had to move on. I felt the weight of his hand against my head.

"I love you, Cagalli."

My heart stopped and I could feel the tears begin to well up. I wasn't one to cry at foolish things like this but with Athrun, he made me so vulnerable. From the first day I met him, when we were stranded on that island I showed him more vulnerability than I knew I should have. There was always something about Athrun Zala that I felt drawn to. There was always something there and from the first kiss, I knew that I loved him. I woke every morning, since he was gone, hoping that he would happen to be there. I sat in my home alone at night and thought of the times we would lie in each other's arms, or when we would sit and have long conversations about everything and anything. I had never been so comfortable with another person before, until Athrun.

Athrun is a weakness that developed over time.

"I…"

My words failed me, I couldn't speak but he knew what I wanted to say.

"Give me a chance, Cagalli, please," I looked up at him, the sincerity his eyes held captured me at once and just like that, I was trapped.

"Okay," he then pulled me closer to him, his body was held tightly against mine. It's been so long since he's held me like this. It felt wonderful. Still, in the back of my mind, I had this pestering feeling that this shouldn't be happening. But I couldn't refuse my childish desires. They were too hard for me to give up. After everything, even now, I'm still weak when I was with him.


	6. They Call For War

**A/N: **I'm sorry it has taken me forever to update. I just moved from Ontario to Texas to live with my boyfriend, and have now settled in, so expect more updates from me now. Sorry to everyone who has been waiting for an update, and I'm appreciative of all the feedback I have gotten from you. Enjoy.

***

**SIX **_They Call For War_

"Wait," I pulled away from Athrun. I couldn't do things like this. It was as if I had learned nothing, I was jumping into something without thinking first. It couldn't be this way.

"What is it, Cagalli?"

"I…I don't think we should do things like this," I looked away from Athrun, as to avoid his gaze. "Perhaps we should take things more slowly. Besides, there is the matter of Sal. I must speak with him, and clear things up with him. I have to apologize. It would be wrong of me to just jump into this, Athrun."

He simply smiled at me, an amused look in his eyes, "My, Cagalli, how you have grown. The Cagalli I once knew always jumped in first, and thought later."

"Oh, please, Athrun, I'm not a little girl anymore. One learns quite a lot when they are the figurehead of a nation, you know."

"Of course," Athrun grinned. "Well, if it is friendship that you would seek first, then it shall be. I agree with you, that it would be best if we were to try being friends again. After all, a year is a long time."

"Yes, and, you know, it might end up that we don't even like each other," I laughed. "Amidst the confusion and pain of war, one might be blinded."

"Well said, Cagalli," Athrun turned away from me, "I guess, since it's late, I'll leave you. I guess coming here, at this time of night, was a bit dramatic of me. But, just so you know, I'm not willing just to let you go this time."

"Athrun."

"You should call me, when you have the time, Representative," and before I could find the words, Athrun left.

I wondered if I had made the right decision. But, of course I did. One shouldn't just jump into things. It wasn't a wise thing to do.

I headed to my bedroom, and lay in my bed, deciding to leave the events of the night behind, and fell into slumber. After all, it was a long day.

***

"Representative Athha," I look up from the papers that lie before me. Throughout the day I have found that I haven't been able to absorb anything. "Do you realize what this means?"

"Ah, yes," I sighed. In fact, I didn't. I couldn't be irresponsible like this.

"Representative Athha," I can see the irritation in the eyes of the Ministers. "You haven't been listening. This could end up being catastrophic to the peace we have obtained. Imagine what would happen if you, Lacus Clyne, or Edward Cliffheld were assassinated by a member of this rebel group. The people would rage for war once again, and the peace we have been working for would be shattered."

"Yuan, these are simply petty threats from a tiny rebel faction. We should find them quickly, and deal with the situation. Until then, we can strengthen security."

"Yes, but, they are after your life, perhaps we should have you protected by a bodyguard."

"I am in no need of a bodyguard."

"Please, Cagalli, you must," Sal shook his head. "I understand that you are a strong woman, with your share of combat experience but, you are the mother of this land, if anything were to happen to you, imagine what might happen to Orb."

"I hardly believe that this group is capable of anything, I think we're blowing things out of proportion."

"You can't be this foolish, Cagalli, you are in need of a special guard. Look at Lacus Clyne, who has Kira Yamato by her side."

"That…that is different," I sighed, I was aware, "But I am perfectly capable of defending myself."

"Stubborn as always," Sal sighed. "Fine, we will have it her way but, if there are any new developments, you must consider the option."

Consider. More like, I would have no choice. But, at least there was an agreement.

"Until then, put together a team to find the members of this rebel faction."

"Yes, Representative."

We filed out of the room, leaving our separate ways, and I felt tired. I wanted to curl myself into my bed, and sleep for decades but I had responsibilities that I had to attend too. I had to find out more about this rebel faction, and understand what was going on. If anything were to happen, we would all need to be prepared.

***

The group held the ideals of those in Blue Cosmos, that all Coordinators should be exterminated. They called themselves Mother Earth, and boasted about protecting the sanctity of the planet, and protecting humanity from the monsters known as Coordinators. I had thought such ideas were being thrown out, apparently not. People will always envy the Coordinators for their talents, and will always fear them. But there is nothing to fear, they are no different. They are just humans. We are all just humans, whether they are Natural or Coordinator. One would wish for everyone to understand this, but, of course, this may never be completely accepted by everyone.

When we find the group, we wouldn't exterminate the members. We would simply strip them of their weapons, and throw them in confinement. Death was a route we no longer wanted to walk the path of.

"Mother Earth," I sighed, and placed the papers on the table.

"Cagalli," I heard my name being called from the intercom, and answered.

"What is it?"

"Salvatore Moore is requesting to see you."

"Yes, let him in," I remain seated as I watch Sal step into my office. Suddenly, I feel the weight of my exhaustion fall upon me.

"Cagalli," he stepped closer to my desk. "I'm sorry to have opposed you during the meeting, it's just that, your safety is an important thing, you know?"

"I know that you only have the best of intentions."

He nods, and sits on the edge of my desk, "About…last night. Let's say, we forget everything, and remain friends."

"I…I'm sorry about that, you know."

"I know, Cagalli, don't worry about it. Obviously, you see, I am a forgiving man."

"Yes, I agree," he places his hand over mine, a large grin on his face.

"All I care for is your happiness and safety, _princess_."

It happened all too quickly. First, I was sitting at my desk, reading the information about Mother Earth, then, Sal came in, and after that, there were shards of glass that surrounded us, and a few men surrounding my desk, military firearms in hand, pointing straight at me. Sal, stepped away from me, a smirk plastered on his handsome face. I scrambled to the drawer of my desk, and grabbed a handgun I had placed there, just in case. I cowered behind my desk, and aimed at the men. Four men armed, one man, Sal, unarmed.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I'm sorry to have deceived you, Representative Athha. You see, I am the head of Mother Earth. I thought that, perhaps, I could gain control of Orb from the inside. Perhaps the princess of Orb would fall for me, we would marry, and I could gain more power and influence. But, I guess, you are not so easily manipulated," Sal sighed. "Such a shame, you're a beautiful girl."

"Why Sal? Why disturb the peace we have worked so hard to gain? How could you lead such a group, and be so damn selfish?"

"Why?" Sal groaned, he attempted to walk closer, but I aimed the gun at him, hoping to deter him from coming any closer. "Damn the Coordinators. Damn them to hell. They took everything from us. How can you expect me to coincide with those disgusting creatures who defy the will of God."

"The will of God?" I groaned; frustrated that he had me fooled. "You're crazy."

"I could be," Sal sighed, and leaned over the desk. "But wouldn't that be expected from a man who lost everything?"

I couldn't believe what lay before my eyes. A man I trusted, a man I thought to start a new life. A man I rejected Athrun for. I couldn't believe I was fooled by such a man. I wanted to die then, thinking of how he fooled us all. I couldn't believe I was so stupid to overlook this but he had us all deceived.

"I can't believe you would do this, Sal."

"Sal is not my name, my dear, I wouldn't be foolish enough as to keep my real identity," I wished I could slap the man, but any sudden movements could result in my death. "Let me introduce myself. My name is Azuela Azrael."

"Azrael…but…Muruta? How?"

"Muruta?" He laughed, "Such a pathetic man. He rushed into the war, without understanding anything. He jumped too quickly and so, he paid with his life. I, on the other hand, am not so foolish. I changed my identity, enlisted in the army, and played the poor husband who lost his dear wife and child. I hoped to build my way up from the inside, it was working but you still had those foolish feelings for Athrun Zala."

"Who…who are you?"

"I am the brother shunned by high society. Born of a poor mother, our father rejected me, and praised Muruta. Even Muruta had no idea of my existence for I lived under the name Salvatore Moore."

"You…I…No…"

"Now, my dear princess, it is time for you to die, and give me what is mine."

I stared at the men, their firearms hoisted, ready to fire. I closed my eyes, and couldn't hold back the tears that escaped me. I had worked so hard for Orb, and peace, for it only to be taken away from me again.

It was over now, wasn't it?


End file.
